Wedding Quotes, Wedding Jokes, Anecdotes, & One-Liners Continued

Wedding Quotes, Wedding Jokes, Anecdotes, & One-Liners continued:

“I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.” – Sam Kinison

The 3 words on a woman’s mind as she makes her way down the aisle: “Aisle, Alter, Hymn.”

“I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house.”
-Zsa Zsa Gabor

A man wakes up as good-looking as when he climbed in bed. Somehow, a woman deteriorates during the night.

Before marriage, the man yearns for the lady he loves. Later, the “y” becomes silent.

Husband to his wife, “No, I don’t hate your relatives. Fact is, I believe I like your mother-in-law better than mine.

“By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” — Socrates

Never marry a tennis playing man – love means nothing to him.

The two times a man doesn’t understand a woman: before he marries her, and after.

“Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.” -Oscar Wilde

Harold: “I’m a man of few words.”  Robert: “I’m married too.”

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